Once a Gypsy Page 16

  “Where?”

  Ayre squinted as she seemed to try to search deeper in the scrying bowl. “I can’t say.”

  “We need to search Adare Village.” Graham moved to stand up.

  “Wait, lad. She seems safe where she’s at. She looks healthy. Maybe you should let her be.”

  “There’s no way she’s okay. She needs to be under her nurse’s care.”

  “Maybe she just needed out, to be away from death and sickness.” Helena stood up. “Was the nurse sure that Rose was possessed? How could she tell?” She turned to the gypsy. “What happens when a person is possessed?”

  “There are different types of possession, spiritual and demonic.”

  “What happens with a demon?”

  “Normally there are claw marks on the body, and speaking in tongues or in a stranger’s voice. It’s different for each person and each demon.”

  Helena glanced at him. “Did the nurse say your mother was doing any of those things?”

  Graham tried to recall what exactly the nurse had said, but nothing about voices or claw marks came to mind. “I don’t think so.”

  “Then maybe it’s not a demon. Maybe she just got away from the nurses, and that’s all.”

  “The best thing may be for your mother may be to have a little freedom,” Ayre offered. “Has she hurt anyone?”

  “Not since she entered the infirmary, but she’s been medicated.”

  “It’s unnatural to tuck the sick away. They need love and attention—not to wither away in the guts of that manor.” Ayre lifted the dish and put it back on the shelf. “Leave the poor woman alone. She needs a taste of living again.”

  Helena ran her fingers over Graham’s, and his mind fogged at her touch.

  Ayre looked down at their hands. “You know, lad, maybe what you and Helena need is to do a little living of your own. You’ve both been through a lot. Go out, have a laugh.”

  Helena tensed. “I can’t. Mam would tan my hide if she found out that I was out with Graham, especially after last night.”

  Ayre looked at Helena with an air of pity. “I chose to be a Traveller. Soon there’ll come a day when you will have to make a choice as to the kind of life you want to lead. There are some great things about being a Traveller, but sometimes tradition is only a weight to drag us down.”

  Helena tensed and drew her hand back from Graham’s. “Ayre, you must know how it is. My fam is my home. If I give up my fam, I give up everything.”

  “I understand, lass, but there are far worse things to give up than family.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Helena sat up from her place against the cold passenger window and glanced over at Graham. His fingers were clenched around the wheel.

  He must have been so worried about his mother. If it had been her mam who had gone missing, every Traveller would have been out looking for her, but Graham could only tell a few staff members and his stepdad.

  In her mam’s opinion, the security of the family was enough reason for Helena to marry Brian—the faceless tinkerer who bought her from her family like she was nothing more than a pony.

  Helena tried to calm herself.

  Maybe Brian wasn't the cad she was making him out to be in her mind. Maybe his family was forcing him into the marriage, too.

  “You okay?” Graham’s hands loosened on the wheel as he glanced over at her.

  She nodded.

  “I wanted to thank you for everything back there with Ayre. I was going about half mad, but you’re right. Rose needs to find what she’s looking for.” Graham reached over and touched her leg. A spark of energy twisted through her, and the strange jolt awoke a deep-seated urge.

  She closed her eyes and tried to ignore the strange desire that pulsed in time to the tap of his fingers.

  Her mind swirled.

  She focused on stopping the vision that threatened to take over her mind, but she had no control. The swirling gray fog of her inner sight cleared, and she was met with a vision of a brunette woman. The woman was lying on her stomach on a large white bed, her hair splayed down her back in reckless waves. She laughed as she kicked away the bedding and rolled over onto her back.

  Helena sucked in a breath as she recognized that she was the woman. What was she doing in bed, naked?

  A man’s baritone drew her attention, but she couldn’t quite make out what he was saying. As she looked in the direction of the voice, she saw a man. His strong chest glistened with a thin sheen of sweat. A droplet formed and slipped down his skin, down to the edge of an easily recognizable red kilt.

  Graham smiled a wickedly handsome grin. He unstrapped the black leather belt that held his sporran in place. The belt dropped to the floor. The Helena on the bed sat up, exposing her naked breasts.

  Helena’s face burned as she tried to force her eyes open.

  She watched herself motion for him to come to her.

  His chocolaty eyes gleamed with lust as his fingers moved to his waist. He took his time unfastening his kilt. The edge of the fabric fell back, exposing the line where his abs melded with his hip. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

  “Aye… I think so.”

  His kilt lowered a half-inch. “You think so?”

  She nodded coyly.

  “You’ll have to do better than that.”

  “Oh, really?” She lifted the sheet around her body and covered her breasts. “What do ya want me to say?”

  “Now don’t be doing that, love.” Graham tugged at the top of his kilt. “Just say that you love me… That you want me.”

  The sheet went slack as a smile curved her pink lips. “I want you, Graham Kelly. I want you in this bed.”

  The side of Graham’s kilt dropped slightly, exposing his leg entire left leg and the natural curves at the intersection of his thigh and waist. The muscles of his upper thigh tensed, and she noticed the way the hair grew thicker the nearer it came to the edge of his kilt… and what lay beneath.

  Graham growled. He stepped to the edge of the bed, holding the last bit of the red fabric over his front.

  She pushed the fabric down, exposing Graham’s ample assets.

  She ran her fingers up his flat stomach and over his chest. Sitting up on her knees, Helena kissed him. Graham groaned in her mouth and then leaned into her, pushing her down on the bed.

  Helena made a feeble attempt to open her eyes. She wanted to watch, but the rules of her culture screamed that what was happening was wrong. Yet it was her, and didn’t she have the right to know what her future held?

  Graham put his arms around her and nibbled at her lips. His kisses continued down over her collarbone, leaving behind a wet trail that sparkled in the light. When he reached her left breast, he took her small brown nipple in his mouth, making her moan.

  She couldn’t be with Graham.

  Not even in her dreams.

  Not when she was promised to another man.

  Her vision distorted, and Graham’s face twisted into another—a face she didn’t recognize. The man who now knelt between her thighs had a strong, aquiline nose, and full, pink lips. His dark brown hair was buzzed on the sides and longer on the top; his chest was narrow, and his arms were pale.

  The vision swirled, and the fog took over.

  Helena opened her eyes as the car jerked. Out the window, a little cottage flashed by. Graham’s fingers were still tapping against her leg.

  She glanced up at him, but quickly dropped her gaze. Her cheeks burned at the memory of what she’d just seen.

  Helena stared out the window. She wished she had someone to talk to. Someone who would understand what she was going through. Someone who could help her decide if she should follow the path of her culture or the desires of her heart.

  A thought struck her. “Graham? Do you mind driving me to Rathkeale?”

  “What’s in Rathkeale?”

  “My sister, Angel.”

  Graham nodded. “Rathkeale it is.”

  The drive was quick, a
nd before long they were parked outside a small white house. A picket fence surrounded a small yard filled with brightly colored children’s toys.

  Graham parked and then came around and opened her door. “I’ll wait out here.”

  Her cheeks burned as she looked everywhere but at him. “I won’t be long.”

  Helena passed by the house’s front window and glanced in. Angel was pouring a bit of bleach in her kitchen sink. She took out a rag and pushed it into the water. Angel wrung out the rag and started to scrub down the kitchen, meticulously working across the surface of a spotless countertop.

  Angel was doing exactly what Helena did every morning at the trailer.

  Once a gypsy, always a gypsy.

  She looked back at the silent yard, filled with discarded toys, and the sadness of this place struck her. Here Angel was, surrounded by things, but all alone. She was left with only her Traveller ways. Ways that belonged to a world in which she was no longer welcome.

  Helena tapped on the door.

  The muffled sound of footsteps came from inside the house. Angel pulled open the door, the rag in one hand.

  “Helena!” Angel grabbed her by the arm and dragged her into the house. “What are ya doin’? Do Mam and Da know you’re here?”

  Helena shook her head as she shut the door.

  Angel ran her hands over perfect dark brown curls and dabbed at the corners of her lined eyes. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Where’s Duncan?” Helena peered down the short hallway. There were two bedrooms and a privy at the end.

  Angel shrugged. “He went out last night. He should be home anytime.” She glanced over at the clock.

  Toys were neatly stacked in the corner of the living room, and the house was quiet. “Where’s Liam?”

  “Oh, he’s at Duncan’s mam’s. She wanted him for the day.” Angel walked to the kitchen and dropped the rag into the sink. “Why don’t ya sit down? Make yourself comfortable.”

  Helena sat on the plastic-covered white sofa. “I wanted to thank ye for lookin’ after Gav and Rionna and makin’ sure they got to school.”

  “Aye. No problem, it’s nice to see them.” Angel sat down in the recliner next to the sofa.

  It had been so long since she had seen Angel, but never in her wildest dreams had Helena thought their relationship would change. Yet sitting there in Angel’s cluttered but empty house, she felt horribly uncomfortable.

  “How’s Mam doing?” Angel perched on the edge of the chair and clasped her hands together, looking as nervous as Helena felt.

  “The same as always. Or maybe a wee bit worse. It’s hard to tell. Havin’ Da home has taken some gettin’ used to.”

  “For all of ya?”

  “Da’s changed.” Helena ran her finger along the edge of the couch. “He misses you, Angel. He’s real sorry about everything that happened.”

  “A pony’s tail don’t change colors.” Angel moved farther back in the chair.

  “Nah. I’m tellin’ ya, prison changed him.” Helena looked up at Angel. “He wanted me to tell you that he’s sorry.”

  “Is that why you’re here? To do Da’s dirty work?”

  “That’s not it, I promise you. I think he wants to see ya. You should think about comin’ round the campsite.”

  “Stop right there. I’m not comin’ to him. If he wants to have anything to do with me and Liam, he has to make the effort—and he’ll need to apologize to Duncan.” The chair rocked as Angel fidgeted. She stood up.

  “Is everything okay?”

  Angel walked to the window and peered out, ignoring Helena’s question. “Who’s that?” She pointed to Graham.

  “That’s my friend, Graham Kelly. He’s our boss at Adare Manor.”

  “Our boss?” Angel frowned. “What’s going on with ya?”

  “I got some questions,” she said instead of answering.

  “I don’t got nothin’ to hide.”

  “Do you ever regret marrying a country man?”

  Angel paused. “Does this have to do with the man in my drive?”

  Helena’s cheeks burned. “Mam has arranged for me to marry Brian O’Donoghue. She borrowed some money while Da was away. I was the easiest form of repayment.”

  “I see. Mam’ll never change. At least you’re promised to a Traveller boy.” Angel looked down at her hands.

  A pit formed in Helena’s stomach. “What’re you sayin’?”

  “Look around, Helena. Duncan ain’t here. Liam ain’t here. Families don’t mean nothin’ to some gorgers—at least not mine.” Angel’s eyes brimmed with tears. “Do you remember those nights when we’d sit around the campfire with Da and he’d sing? Remember how happy we were, snuggled together under a blanket, listenin’ to him?”

  Helena nodded.

  “There ain’t none of that in my world. Family’s just an afterthought.”

  “At least you got to marry for love.”

  Angel nodded. “You know, I do love him—even when he ain’t showed up after a night of boozin’.”

  “You know that ain’t no different from a Traveller boy.” Helena balled her hands into fists as she tried to fight for her dream for the future.

  “Listen, lass. At least you know what you’re in for with a Traveller boy. Yeah, most of ’em take it a little heavy on the Arthur Guinness, but they all come back to their wives. Gorgers are different. If things get hard, they run away.”

  Helena thought of Graham. He didn’t seem like the type to flee from something hard; he could’ve given up on his mam and brother, but instead he’d kept taking care of them as he tried to find ways—or people—who could help. He wasn’t like the man Angel had married.

  “I mean, look out there at your friend,” Angel said. “He was uncomfortable and didn’t want to meet your scandalous sister, so he waited outside.”

  “That’s not it.” Helena stiffened. “He knew I hadn’t seen you for a bit. He just wanted us to be able to talk in private. That’s all.”

  “I don’t doubt that’s what he said. I’m just saying I ain’t buying what he’s selling. He was uncomfortable—wanted to run away. He ain’t no different from Duncan. Country men just show you the best of who they are until they have you roped in, and then they leave ya for some younger woman.”

  Helena’s shoulders fell. She wanted her sister to reassure her, to tell her to break out onto her own path, follow her dreams, and marry a man she loved.

  “You go ahead and dream about that man standing out there in his flashy red kilt, but remember that trusting a man is like trusting a stray dog. There ain’t no future and there ain’t no loyalty. Look what ya get stuck with when they leave.” She motioned around her. “I ain’t got no family to speak of; I got a house that I hate, and bills I can’t pay. This ain’t no life for a Pavee girl.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Helena was quiet. Graham rested his hand on the car’s center console, palm up, and waited for her to lace her fingers between his, but her hand never came. If anything, she seemed to move further away.

  He brought his hand back to the wheel, but couldn’t stop glancing over at her. She wore a tight scowl, which only grew more taut the nearer they came to the manor.

  “What did your sister say?”

  “Nothing.” Helena’s gaze didn’t budge from the window.

  Graham could have sworn there’d been more than a simple spark between them. She’d yielded to his touch, searched for him with her kiss. Yet now, after seeing her sister, Helena was acting as if riding in the car with him were some form of medieval torture.

  He pulled the Mercedes up to the manor’s gates and waited for the barrier to slide open. “Did I do something?” he asked, no longer able to handle her giving him the cold shoulder.

  Helena looked over at him, her eyes glistening. “It’s nothing you did.”

  The gates slid open. He let the car control its own acceleration. “What’re you talking about?”

  “You and I… we can’t be
together.” She looked away from him as her voice quivered with emotion. “I’m sorry.”

  The words lashed across him like a whip. “What did your sister say?”

  “Angel didn’t say anything I wasn’t already thinking.” Helena’s face was stern and uncompromising. “You have no business being with a Traveller like me.”

  “You’re not just a Traveller.”

  “No, Graham. That is exactly what I am. I’m a Traveller, and you’re a gorger. We’re never gonna be right together. Our lives are too different.”

  “You’re wrong.” Graham slammed on the brakes. “You’re a woman, and I’m a man. That’s all that matters. Sure, things won’t always be easy. We both will have some learning to do, but that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be together.”

  “Yes it does, Graham.” Her body seemed to tense, as if she were steeling herself to continue. “You’ll never learn enough to be a part of my culture, and no matter how much I learn, I’ll never really have a place in yours. I’m nothin’ but a gypsy. I just need to accept what’s expected of me. I can’t lose my family. They’re all I’ve got.” Helena got out of the car. “Tell Mary I quit.” She slammed the door behind her.

  Graham threw the car into park and jumped out. “Where in the bloody hell do you think you’re going? We aren’t done talking. I want answers. I don’t want you to run away. Goddamn it, Helena! I love you!”

  Helena turned back as tears slipped down her cheeks. “Don’t say you love me. Don’t. It only makes what I’m going to have to do all that much harder. Please.”

  He ached to take her into his arms and make her forget what she was saying. “You’ve got this all dog’s-arse backwards, woman. Why can’t you just accept that I want you in my life—that I need you?”

  “Ya mean it now, but you don’t know what the future brings.” Helena rubbed the tears from her cheeks, but fresh ones took their places. She turned her back on him and sprinted toward the manor.

  Graham staggered back to the car and began to drive to the seclusion of his house. He’d tried his damnedest. He’d told her he loved her, for Jaysus’s sake.